The Greatest Fear
by Calie1
Summary: Takes place after Love Runs Cold. Lindsay attempts to deal with her problems on her own but only succeeds in making herself more miserable. Danny notices and can't stand it any longer.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Greatest Fear 1/2

Author: Calie

Summary: Takes place after Love Runs Cold. Lindsay attempts to deal with her problems on her own but only succeeds in making herself more miserable. Danny notices and can't stand it any longer.

Notes: I'm not even going to begin to speculate as to what Lindsay's secret is because I know I'll be wrong. So don't look for Lindsay to reveal anything.

* * *

It'd been weeks since Danny had really talked with Lindsay. Now their conversations consisted mainly of work. Joking didn't feel right anymore and even if he made an attempt he knew it would be awkward. Somehow Danny felt he was partially to blaim. She had been the one to put an end to something that hadn't even started but he had pushed it. He couldn't help but think that maybe if he had left her alone and given her time this wouldn't have happened. Instead their friendship was practically non existent and their work relationship was only doing slightly better. He missed her and he liked to think she missed him but the look on her face since then told him it didn't have anything to do with him. That was another source of his guilt. Danny had the sneaking suspicion that when he tried to pursue a relationship with Lindsay he'd triggered something in her. Whatever it was that she was trying to put behind her he could tell it was on her mind twenty-four seven. Today he'd had enough of it though. It was bad enough to deal with her moping around, but when he walked into the locker room and found her in there washing her tear stained face he couldn't stand it any longer. She'd left in a hurry, not even acknowledging his presence. That hurt by itself, but it also hurt that she had to hide whatever was bothering her. So for the rest of the day he bided his time till he was going to corner her and do something about what was bothering her.

Danny had been sure to remain in his office as much as possible that day to find out when she was leaving. It was almost five o'clock when she came in with her purse in hand and jacket on. She shut her computer down and still didn't say a word to him or look at him. Usually he tried not to look at her, but this time he watched her the whole time. She had to know that he was doing so but she didn't acknowledge him. When she finally got to the door she stopped and turned around.

"Bye."

He couldn't help but smile softly at her regardless of their situation. "Bye." He only waited about half a minute before he got up and started heading to the parking garage. As soon as he exited the office he saw her turn the corner, heading in the same direction. He followed far behind her until she exited the building into the parking garage then he sped up and pushed the open before it even shut. "Lindsay." Montana had just been hard to say lately. She turned around started but didn't say anything. When he reached her he didn't waste anytime, even though he wasn't that sure of what he was going to say. "Lindsay, what is going on with you?"

Lindsay hadn't been sure what to expect from Danny just then. They hadn't spoken friendly in weeks. Now for him to suddenly confront her like this was surprising. Among the things that were bothering her, guilt over hurting Danny was one of them. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Over the past couple of weeks you've been so withdrawn. I'm not even talking about what happened between us. I know it's more than that. I told you if you need anything I'd be there. So tell me what's wrong." At first her face had seemed to soften and he could see the hurt there that he had seen so many times when she hadn't known he was looking. Quickly her face changed into one of indifference.

"Danny, I don't need anything. I'm fine." It was so hard not to break down and beg for him to hold her. She'd been trying so hard to hide her feelings lately but at the same time she knew she wanted someone to notice.

"Bullshit. You're not fine. Lindsay if you don't want to give what we have a chance then fine. But don't tell me your fine when you aren't. You said you have some things to work through but I can tell whatever it is you're having trouble dealing with it."

Lindsay sighed and tried to relax, or at least appear relaxed. Maybe then Danny would leave her alone. "I know. I have a lot on my mind lately. But I'll be fine. I just need you to leave me alone right now."

"Now you see, that's what I don't understand. You keep saying you have to work through some things and that you need to be alone to do it. I can understand needing space. Everyone needs some space. This is different. Your miserable and I don't like you being alone. You told me yourself that you had no one here except for some family that you aren't that close to." It wasn't just that Danny felt obligated to help her because he cared for her but also because he had the sneaking suspicion that he might be the person she was closest to in New York. If that really was the case than he had to talk to her.

"So I'm supposed to tell you how I feel than?" For some reason his assumption that she had no one to talk to made her angry, even though it was the truth.

Danny sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. This wasn't going exactly like he had planned, of course he had to admit he had kind of gone into it half assed. "I don't know Lindsay. I just hate seeing you like this and I can't even try to help you because you insist you have to work through this on your own. You don't have to tell me anything Lindsay. But you don't have to be alone."

She couldn't really say anything to him. What he said made sense but Lindsay couldn't bring herself to admit that. Not ever. All she had wanted when she moved to New York was to put the past behind her. When everything seemed to be okay she thought she'd give whatever Danny and she had a try. It was then that she realized she wasn't over it. Somewhere at some time she had convinced herself she couldn't allow herself any happiness until it was over for her. It obviously wasn't and any happiness that she could have with Danny would have to be put on hold or possibly not ever happen. "Danny I just can't." With that she turned and made her way towards her car. When Danny's hand grabbed her arm and spun her around she couldn't believe for a moment that it was him doing it.

"I'm sorry." He knew he had startled her but he still didn't let go. "Don't do this Lindsay. Don't walk away from me."

"Danny, I told you I can't" It was so hard to hide from him, especially when he was trying so hard not to let her.

"Don't tell me that. Whatever it is you are dealing with you don't have to be alone doing it." He waited a moment and when she didn't say anything he continued, this time hoping he might be getting through to her. "Lindsay you said you really don't have anyone here that is close to you, you know that's not true. I care about you, I don't want to see you like this."

Lindsay pulled her arm back from him and his hand fell away. It hurt her to hear how much he cared. The last thing she needed at that time was to know that. Instead of giving in she had to get away from him as soon as possible. "I'm sorry."

This time he didn't stop her. Nothing he could say at that point would make a difference. He watched her walk away and get into her car before he turned around and walked into the building. He tried to do more work when he got inside but it was impossible. It surprised him how much it bothered him for her to be slipping away from him like this when he had just found her.

* * *

When Lindsay got home she went strait to her bedroom and changed into something comfortable. On her way home she had tried to convince herself she'd do something productive such as wash clothes, load the dish washer, make an actually meal for once, or even pick up a few things in her apartment. As usual she did nothing and instead fell into her bed and turned the TV on. She tried to concentrate on what was on but all she could think about was Danny. For once her mind wasn't totally on her past, which should have been a relief, but it wasn't. She wanted him so badly it hurt. Quickly she corrected herself though. She didn't want him, she needed him. All she had wanted was to fall into his arms and beg him to hold her until it all went away. Him confronting her like he had made it all worse and made the pain she felt feel even fresher. She did feel alone and she hated it. Soon her tears started again, as they had over the past couple of weeks. She buried her faced into the pillow, hoping to hide her sobs somehow. Nothing could hide the pain she felt though and soon she was curled up on her side, hugging her pillow, and crying out her own pain. Lindsay didn't want to be alone. 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Greatest Fear 2/2

Author: Calie

Summary: Lindsay can't stand being alone anymore.

Notes: This is the last chapter. It was just a short story. I kind of have an idea to more their relationship further along but I'm not sure if I will get to it. Hope you like.

* * *

Danny opened his eyes and looked around in the darkness of his room. He would swear he just heard something. It was only a few moments before he was positive he heard something. Once he heard the knocking at his door he looked over at the clock on his bed stand. It was one o'clock in the morning and he had no earthly idea who would be knocking at his door.

Danny groaned as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. There was another knock at his door and he knew he had to move a little faster. For a moment he considered grabbing his gun but decided against it. Danny made a lame attempt and brushing his hair down with his hand as he walked through his darkened apartment and to his front door. When he looked through the peep hole he didn't even stop to wonder why the person was even at his apartment. He hurriedly slid the chain off and unlocked the dead bolt before opening his door. It had only taken moments for him to become awake when he saw her standing there. "Lindsay." He wanted to ask her what was wrong but he couldn't find the words. Her normal neat attire was absent and instead replaced by a t-shirt and pants, wich most likely were her pajamas. Her hair which had been in neat waves earlier that day was frizzy and up in a messy ponytail. It wasn't those things that surprised him. It was her red puffy eyes staring back at him that made him stand there in silence. It felt like a long time but he quickly regained his composure and grabbed her by her arms and pulled her in. He locked the door, even though he hated to waste the time doing so, and then turned to her. "Lindsay," he grabbed her face in his hands and brushed her hair away and studied her, "what's wrong?" She didn't respond right away and he was ready to explode if she didn't tell him why she was on his door step at one in the morning in such a state. He did notice her teeth chattering and finally he remembered that she didn't have a jacket on and it was cold outside. "What are you going not wearing a jacket?" He wrapped his arms around her and led her to his sofa.

Lindsay allowed him to lead her to the sofa, not caring whatsoever where he took her. At this point she was just relieved to be with him. He grabbed both of her arms and gently pushed her down onto the couch. Silently, Lindsay watched him move about his apartment. First his turned on a lamp, then he moved to adjust the thermostat, next he walked down a hallway and reemerged seconds later with a blanket in his arms. When he got back to the sofa he sat down, wrapped the blanket around her. Lindsay took it and tried to give him a soft smile. "Thanks."

For the few moments that Danny was moving around he had felt better. Now that he was sitting there in silence and had nothing else to do all he could do was look at her face and see the look there that he'd seen for so many days now. Only this time she looked worse. "Lindsay did something happen?"

"No." She shook her head quickly because the last thing she needed was for him to think she was hurt or in some kind of danger. "I'm fine." She wrapped the blanket tighter around her in an attempt to get rid of the exposed feeling she had.

"Well you can't be fine if you're here right now." For the first time since Lindsay had arrived she looked away from him and seemed to be studying his apartment. When she didn't look back at him brought a hand up to her face and turned her back to him. "Lindsay, what's wrong?"

It was his gentleness that broke her. The feel of his hand on her face, the gentle concern in his voice, and the soft look on his face all broke her. As she blinked the tears she had been trying to control since she first saw his face escaped. "Danny, I don't want to be alone."

He knew she was still hurting but he couldn't help the sigh of relief right before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. He felt relief because nothing had happened to her like he had originally feared when she arrived at his door and most of all he felt relief that she had finally come back to him. Her body shook against him silently and he knew it wasn't from her being cold. Her face was buried into his chest but he could still tell that she was crying.

For a while Lindsay just stayed curled up against Danny and cried. Gradually she calmed down and just lay against him. Having him holding her was the only comfort she'd had in a long time.

Once she did quite down Danny spoke softly into her hair. "I don't know what's going on, and you don't have to tell me right now if you don't want to, but I still want to be with you."

Lindsay couldn't believe what he was saying. Since the day she had met him she had thought him rather harsh, not always a caring kind of a guy, and especially not a relationship kind of guy. Somehow that had all changed. He had wanted to be with her and had been trying for months now. In the beginning it was mild flirting which they both took part in, then it started to escalate to lunches then dinner. That's when she got scared and around that same time that's when he decided he wanted to be with her. She was reluctant to leave his arm but she forced herself to and sat up. She made a poor attempt to wipe her eyes and straiten her hair then when she looked back at him he had a smirk on his face. "What?"

"I'm sorry Lindsay, but I don't think anything but a shower and a brush will help you at this point." She shoved at his arm and he caught her hand in his. "You look fine."

"I'm sorry I woke you. I just…" She sighed and tried to find the words but he interrupted.

"It's okay. I'm glad you did." She gave him a soft smile which for some reason relieved him. "Look, I'm not letting you go home this late at night, just sleep in my bed and I'll sleep out here okay."

Lindsay should have said she was okay and that she would go home, or at least say she would sleep on the couch, but she said nothing. All she did was nod and allow him to lead her by the hand he was still holding. When they got to the bedroom he released her hand and turned on the lamp.

When he turned back to her she was already sitting on his bed looking so small and so tired. "Do you need anything?"

Lindsay bit her lip and looked around. She did need something. "Don't go. I told you I didn't want to be alone."

"Alright." Even as he said it Danny was beginning to wonder if he should have just insisted on sleeping in the living room. There was no way he could have said no, not when she needed him and he wanted to be near her. "Do you need anything before I turn off the light?" She shook her head and he turned away from her to turn off the lamp. Danny needed the darkness it was a lot easier if he didn't have to see her. While he walked to the other side of the bed her heard the bed moving and knew she was laying down. As Danny lay down on his side facing her he quickly realized he'd never been so uncomfortable in his own bed. It wasn't as if he'd never considered the situation of being in a bed with Lindsay. The circumstances had always been different in his head though.

"Danny?"

"Yea?"

For a short moment she remained silent before speaking. There was so much she wanted to say to him. She wanted to tell him she was sorry for not showing up for there date, that she was sorry for ignoring him after, that she was sorry for running out on him, that she was sorry for hurting his feelings, and that she was grateful for him being there for her even thought she hadn't done anything to deserve it. Of course she couldn't manage to say any of that yet. "Thank you." The city lights illuminated his face perfectly and it made her heart warm to see the small smile on his face.

"I told you I'd help you if you needed anything." She smiled back at him and for a moment Danny was able to forget that she still had secrets and their rocky start. For a moment everything was feeling right.

"I know, I just didn't feel I could come to you."

"Why not? Didn't you know I have a weakness for Montana girls?" The smile got wider and it made him wish he could say something to see that smile all night.

Hopefully she wasn't blushing and if she was she hoped he couldn't tell. "How many Montana girls do you know?"

"Only one."

"That's good to know." She laid there in silence for a while. It still felt like there was much more that needed to be said and that wasn't even including what she was hiding from him. They both know that they liked one another but that's it. It'd been so long since Lindsay had feelings for someone in a romantic way that she wasn't sure how to go about it. All she did know is she wanted to do it the right way and not mess it up. He'd been so patient with her. Always worrying about her and always doing things for her even though she pulled back from every advance he made. Yet still he'd always been there for her, even when she had thought she wanted him to stay away. "You could have just forgotten about me and given up on me after what I did. Why didn't you?"

"Please, I knew you'd come around." He heard a small laugh and it relieved him a little that her mood had lightened. Then her fingers touched his chest and gently fingered at the material of his shirt. "Well, I hoped."

"Well, thank you for not giving up on me." His hand covered the one on her chest and she allowed herself to smile again.

"Don't be ridiculous Montana." He yawned and rolled onto his back while still holding her hand. She was forced to scoot closer as he pulled her hand so he wrapped his other arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him. When she finally gave in and settled against him with her head on his chest he closed his eyes. "I couldn't do that, your one of a kind."

After so long, being held by someone felt wonderful especially since it was Danny. Just as she was drifting off to sleep he pulled her hand up and kissed it. For a moment she wondered what it would have felt like if instead his lips had kissed her own. Quickly she tried to dismiss that thought, the last thing she needed was to be thinking of a physical relationship with Danny. Hopefully they would get to that point but at the moment she content to just lie next to him.


End file.
